It is unfortunate that a cry for help may not be recognized for what it is because not knowing how to come to the point and explain the troubles compounds a man’s predicament.
Men are capable of a wide range of feelings and emotions yet somehow, possibly since history began, it is the accepted norm in masculine imagery to expect a man to hide his inner feelings. For a man, showing emotion appears to be equated with showing weakness — so asking directly for help to sort out what in essence is an emotional crisis takes an act of supreme bravery. Never before has he been more exposed or defenceless. Most, as a result, plump for complaining about their lot in the hope that someone will come to their aid with an easy solution.
According to therapists, looking for help at home represents the most difficult task. A wife will point out all that is good about his life (his job, his pension, his family, the car) and the reasons why he should not change anything (the mortgage, the pension, the money, school fees, aged parents). These are the very ties that are oppressing him but she sees them as his manly responsibilities. Her suggestions that you pull yourself together and face up to your responsibilities, although along the right lines, are hardly demonstrative of understanding or constructive in their support. She may also suspect because of his irrational behaviour that he is having an affair and suspect he is not telling her the truth anyway as he talks to her and that he is hiding something.
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